


Getting Over the Guilt (With a Little Push)

by GazingUpAtTheMoon



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Charming Family Feels, Emma Swan Being Her Usual Self Sacrificing Stubborn Self, Everyone is a Captain Swan Shipper, F/M, Fluff and more fluff, and a tad bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 10:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6419398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GazingUpAtTheMoon/pseuds/GazingUpAtTheMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma feels guilty about breaking up Regina and Robin so she puts a halt to starting something with Killian. However, it seems her whole family has something to say about the matter and besides, the dumb pirate won't even leave her alone. It seems she's going to need a push from everyone to see how silly she's being.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Getting Over the Guilt (With a Little Push)

"Please tell me those aren't from who I think they're from."

David shrugs sheepishly as he pops another piece of chocolate in his mouth. The heart shaped tin in his hand is already halfway empty and the cluster of wrappers on his desk forming a small mountain. "I didn't touch the first two he sent but a third? Sharing is caring Emma."

She rolls her eyes and plops down on a chair at desk next to his. "Just wait till Mom finds out about this little over indulgence."

Waving the tin right in her face, David smirks. "Already way ahead of you. Why do you think I didn't touch the over half?"

"I thought you were waiting for your second wind."

"Hey!"

"But seriously," Emma leant forward, dropping her amusement and growing very serious. "We talked about this and I thought he understood but then he keeps doing stuff like this. What am I supposed to do?"

"Honestly? Nothing. Emma, we all understand you feel guilty about what happened but how is keeping Hook at arm's length mending the situation?"

"It's not!" She exclaimed because she wasn't stupid. There was nothing she could do to absolve her guilt over breaking up Regina and Robin save getting rid of Marian all together. Which wasn't an option of course so the least she could do was not flaunt her new relationship with Killian right in front of the fuming Mayor's face….right? "It's just-oh I don't know! It just doesn't feel right is all! I make Regina miserable and myself happy with the exact thing I took from her?"

"Emma, honey," David leant towards her and gently grabbed her by the shoulders, squeezing reassuringly. "What happened was unfortunate, no one is denying it. But what you did was right. No matter what you think. And when Regina gets over the initial pain and hurt, she'll see that too. But what you're doing right now is something I've thought you've grown out of."

Emma almost didn't want to ask, this whole parental advice thing still new and sometimes very unwanted, but she did anyway. "And what's that?"

"Punishing yourself," David answered simply. "Being afraid to be happy. Running. Take your pick."

Stupid dads always being right.

Emma fell back in her seat with an exaggerated groan. "Alright, serious talk time is over, I can't handle it anymore. You've filled your father quota of the day. And I am over all that…mostly. At least I'm trying to be. Its just-its not easy and with him being a bona fide Romeo now a days-why are you even supporting this by the way? I thought you were trying to keep him back with a twelve-foot pole."

"He's my mate." David answered with a twinge of pride (Emma tried hard not to roll her eyes). "And besides, you made your decision pretty clear with your not so little public display of affection the other night and your mother says I should respect it. I'm doing a pretty good job too if I do say so myself."

Well, Emma couldn't stop her eyes from rolling at that. Despite this little show of maturity, David still clearly wasn't over her and Hook kissing outside Granny's in front of everyone. She remembered the scene like it was yesterday, David stomping over ready to their table ready to throttle Hook before Henry jumped up to the rescue, using the grandpa card and blinking his big brown eyes. The whole thing would have been amusing had not Hook thrown a very inappropriate comment David's way right when he was about to back off. At that point they needed all the dwarves to stop fists from being thrown.

But what Emma remembered most was Killian's genuine laughter ringing in her ears and the feel of his arm curled protectively around her waist like it was always meant to be there.

A sigh escaped her lips. "I gotta go pick up Henry. You good here?"

"Fine, just tell Hook to start sending some drinks along with all this food will you?"

With a huff, Emma pointedly ignored him and his laughter as she marched out of the Sheriff's station.

"What is that?"

Emma let her glare hit Henry full force as he not so innocently strode up to her, a mischievous smile on his face. It was the kind of smile Neal would have when he was planning some crazy scheme which would usually endear her. But not right now. Definitely not right now.

Henry waved the long stemmed rose he had in his hand to her in greeting. "I believe it's called a rose Mom."

"Keep being a smartas-you know what. See how far it's gets you buddy."

He shrugged his shoulders. "What? You have a thing against flowers?"

"I do when they're being given by a certain someone. He's gone from leaving them at the door of the loft to getting them hand delivered by my own son?"

"To be fair," Henry smirked. Oh, he was so Neal right now. "I volunteered."

Emma groaned. "Henry! Come on!"

"What? You're being dumb about this whole thing and everyone knows it."

"That's not fair!" Emma begged. "You know why I'm doing this and so does he!"

Henry rolled his eyes and pushed the rose into her hands as he began to walk over to the yellow bug. "Yea we both know but it doesn't mean we both agree."

Emma wanted to crush the stupid thing but something inside her stopped the vicious action. It wasn't like destroying the-admittedly-beautiful flower would stop future ones from coming. This had to be-what? The seventh? Eighth? Snow had already got a vase for all of them, placing the growing boutique proudly on the dining room table. Emma had to resist the urge to fling it out the window every time she saw it.

"You know," Emma jogged up next to her son and playfully nudged him. "I remember when you two didn't even talk to each other. Good times."

Henry gave her an you're-not-kidding-anyone kind of look. "Please, like you're not secretly happy your boyfriend and I get along great."

Emma's mouth fell open with shocking speed. "I-we-he's not m-my boyfriend!"

Henry opened the passenger door and shot her yet another knowing look. Had she just started noticing now how good he was at giving them? And from what parent did that exactly come from? "He could be. And the only reason he's not is because you won't let him."

"Emma?"

Emma slammed her hot cocoa none too gently against the counter. "Look, whatever it is, if it came from Killian then I really don't want to know."

Snow sighed gently and sat down on the stool next to her daughter. "It seems he's respecting my time as a new mother and is employing the rest of the family to do his dirty work. I'm clean."

Emma's whole body sagged in relief at the news. Honestly, after all the chocolates and flowers the only thing Killian hadn't tried yet was jewelry. She had half expected her mother to have greeted her with a ruby necklace and matching earrings the moment she had entered the loft.

"But…" Snow bit the bottom of her lip innocently. "I can't say it's not him I want to talk to you about."

Of course.

Emma chugged down a plentiful amount of chocolate before facing her mother. She knew she sould have slipped some harder stuff in it. "Look, I already heard it from David and Henry. I'm being stupid. It's not my fault. It's not fair to Killian. Blah, blah, blah. I get it but it's not changing my mind."

Snow nodded understandingly. "Actually, I was going to talk about me."

Emma quirked an eyebrow. "You?"

"It's a story I'm sure you've heard and one I really don't' want to repeat but…I think I need to." Snow sucked in a breath of air before continuing. "The reason Regina hated me for so long, why she vowed revenge, and why for so many years there has been so much hatred and pain in all our lives…it's because of me. It was my fault."

Daniel. Regina's first love. That was where she was going with all of this. And it was a story Emma did know, albeit all the intimate details. But she had gotten the gist and she was more than happy to know just that. Regina and Snow's feud honestly only made Emma uncomfortable and brought up a bunch of negative feelings aimed at the once Evil Queen that she was trying hard to repress in the name of Henry.

"Mom-"

Snow raised her hand up. "Just, let me finish Please. All of us can agree, now at least, there were a whole lot of factors that led up to Daniel dying. If about a million things did or didn't happen, it could have changed the outcome and he could still be alive. But…he's not and we can't deny me telling Cora the truth didn't lead to that."

Snow closed her eyes for a moment, the remembrance of the affair weighing down heavy on her shoulders. Emma hated that she avoiding Killian had somehow led to this moment, no matter how big or little the pain was for Snow to have to talk about all this. There went a whole new wave of guilt for her to pine over.

"It haunted me Emma, for years, and it still does." Emma found her hand being gently grasped, something she had learned her mother liked to do quite a lot in times like these. Even before the Snow persona came on and they were just roommates, Mary Margaret had liked the small contact and the comfort it gave. Things like this Emma would usually shy away from but with her-her mother-she couldn't deny how good it felt. "And the guilt I have over it, I can't even begin to properly explain. But…"

There it was, the but.

"Emma, what you did and what I did, they are two completely different things. Daniel died. He's gone and he's not coming back. But what you did? You saved a life. Someone who had been lost, you brought back. You reunited a husband and wife, a mother and child. Is that something you honestly are feeling guilty over?"

"I-no, of course not. I'm happy for Marian, I really am. But Regina-"

"Will survive this." Snow squeezed Emma's hand a little stronger. "She survived Daniel, a situation that was worse by all counts. Robin isn't dead, he's alive and he's happy. Regina will see that and when she does, she'll accept what you did. If she truly loves him, she'll be happy for him, no matter what."

It was the same as David and Henry had said but coming from Snow, from someone who had done the same thing but on a much grander scale, it meant a little more. So, with a shuddering breath, Emma dared to push away the guilt she felt over breaking up Regina and Robin. A whole two weeks of being miserably and pouty pushed to the side in favor of allowing in the emotions she had dared to feel that night at Granny's.

It hit her like a brick.

She missed his voice. His touch. His bright blues eyes, the feel of his hair on her fingertips. Everything.

"I actually stopped, for maybe a second, when I thought about having a future with your father. But it was just a second and thank God I didn't let me guilt keep me from him. David is my-my everything. And from that I got you, then Neal…" Snow sighed wistfully. "I got my happiness."

Killian's lips on hers, so soft and so gently and how she had felt so happy.

"I-um," Emma licked her suddenly dry lips as her heart pounded with want and need. How could she do this? How could she have pushed him away when she had finally-finally-allowed herself to feel for him? "I think I need to go. I need to-"

"Say no more," Snow grinned triumphantly and waved her hand at the door. "You go right ahead, I'll make sure David doesn't wait up."

Emma cheeks burned at the insinuation. She wasn't sure if that was going to happen but she sure didn't need her mother giving her the thumbs up for it. Trying to switch the topic, and fast, she asked with some teasing, "We're all on team Killian now huh?"

Snow shrugged her shoulders like she had been cool with the idea since square one. Had Killian been here he probably would have laughed and made some snarky comment. "He's grown on me, ignoring all the inappropriate comments. But I see how he is with you and how you are with him and Emma, it's all I've ever wanted for you. And he is shockingly good at changing a diaper, even with the hook."

"Killian? Changing diapers? When did that happen?"

"Oh-um, well…" A nervous chuckle bubbled up from the Princess' mouth. "You know he may have stopped by a time…or two."

Of course the stupid pirate had managed to charm the pants off everyone in her whole family. If Neal could walk she was sure he would have had him delving her presents with his cute little baby face. "My whole family is against me!" Emma yelled as she walked out of the loft. "I'll remember this!"

With the Jolly Roger gone (just another thing she was trying to not feel guilty about) Killian had permanently taken residence at the Inn. It was a Tuesday night so she was hoping he hadn't decided to go out for a drink or two. Then again, he was a pirate.

Well, she was here so it was now or never. She just hoped he was in a good mood.

He answered on a third knock.

Stripped of his coat but still in his black getup, Emma didn't realize just how much he missed him until he was so close she could touch him. His hair was deliciously disheveled, perhaps he had been trying to go to sleep? Emma's stomach churned with the image of Killian on a bed. "Uh, hi." She said lamely, her cheeks slightly burning.

"Swan" He replied with little emotion. Even his normally vivid blue eyes were dull at the sight of her. "Surprised to see you here since we're-what did you call it? On a break?"

Emma cringed at the word. It had been stupid and she hadn't even meant to say it and it was only because she had just watched the stupid Friends episode with Snow the night before that it had even been in her mind. "Yea, I um, guess I did. Well, didn't sleep with any other women while we were on it did ya?"

The joke failed. Miserably.

Why the hell had she even attempted it? He was still having problems understanding how the remote controlled the TV let alone actually watching any shows.

Killian's eyes turned cold. "Is that what you thought I would do? Is your opinion so low of me, after everything we've been through?" He swiftly turned away from her and stomped into the room, at least leaving the door open for her to follow.

"Killian!" Emma called frantically, shutting the door behind her and desperately reaching out for him. "It was a joke, a very bad joke that I should have known you wouldn't understand. There's this show, Friends, and Rachel and Ross were dating but then they went on a break but Ross slept with someone else and Rachel found out and he would always say We were on a break and it's just this universal thing-"

She was rambling. Great.

"Swan," Killian interrupted. "I know not of this Rachel and Ross you speak of or their romantic woes but I assure you I did not sleep with someone else on our break." He spat out the word like it was poison in his mouth.

Emma pinched the bridge of her nose. "Point is, I didn't mean it. I don't think you would do that, ever. Okay?"

The words visibly softened Killian and he looked a degree less angry then he did before. Still, there was wariness to him Emma seriously needed to get rid of. "Aye, I believe you. But that still doesn't answer the question as to why you're here. I was under the impression we weren't even allowed to be in the same room anymore."

"That's not true. At least, not in the beginning. God, Killian," Emma flopped down onto the bed in exasperation. "You made me do it! I wanted us to just be normal for a little, to just be friends. But every time you where near me-"

"Friends!" Killian sneered. "As if I could even entertain the idea. Emma, I've waited far too long for you to reciprocate my intentions to just ignore them for the sake of the Queen's feelings! How could you blame me for wanting to love you every chance I could now that you've finally allowed me to?"

The word love stung Emma right in there heart, shortening her breath and clouding her good sense. She hadn't wanted to delve into such serious discussions, she had just wanted to apologize and kiss it make it better, a plan she thought Killian would have dove headfirst into. Well, time to remind him of that.

"You're mad at me," She began quietly, "And I get it. I was…stupid. All I thought of was Regina's feelings but not yours or mine and that wasn't fair, for either of us. So this is me right now, admitting I was wrong and apologizing."

Killian, after a moment of hesitation, placed his hands on hips and gave her a contemplative look.

After a few seconds that seemed like unbearable hours Emma snapped at him. "What?" Did she had food in her teeth or something?

"This is too easy." He replied knowingly. "I know you and this is just too easy. What's the catch Swan?"

She rolled her eyes. "No catch, no strings attached. This is me trying to be…a better me. So stop being an idiot and accept my apology."

She nearly sighed with relief when Killian gave her his infamous smirk. "I see my gifts finally wore you down then."

"The opposite, exactly," She said dryly with a tilt of her head. "You really think suffocating me with sweets and flowers was the way to win me over?"

Killian strutted over to her like he was the King of the damn world and took a seat beside her on the bed. "On the contrary, I knew they would only entice your infuriation."

This stupid man.

"Then why the hell did you do it?!"

"Because Swan," Killian grinned and poked her affectionately on the nose. "If you were going to be ridiculous then so was I. Seems only fair doesn't it?"

Emma couldn't help herself when she let out a snorting laugh. "That's the most messed up logic ever."

"Say what you want but you're here aren't you?"

Well, he got her there. She was here, in his room, on his bed, with his body only a breath away from her own. Emma's laughter died when she got caught up in Killian's gaze, her heart swooning over the fact he was now looking at her the way he always did, with unwavering love and devotion. She leant forward without even thinking, her whole body just wanting to drown in those blue depths so full of emotion that was all for her.

"Killian," Emma whispered, her breath fanning over his lips. "I've missed you."

His lids dropped heavily and Emma felt his hand encircling around her waist, dragging her even closer to him. "Emma," He whispered right back, his voice husky and gravely and doing splendid things to her insides. "I've missed you too."

Then they were kissing, the both of them lunging at each other without any more preamble. It was hungrier than it had been outside of Granny's but less desperate than it had been in Neverland. This was passionate, hungry, and meant to make up for all the time she had foolishly made them spend apart. It had only been two weeks but what a long and lonely two weeks they had been.

Killian nipped at her lower lip before kissing along her jawline, travelling even further down her neck till he reach her pulse point.

"Killian!" Emma gasped when he latched down onto her soft skin, not at all being shy at using his teeth.

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and a moan escaped her lips when he began to suck wantonly at it, definitely leaving a mark she was going to have to hide before returning home.

He pulled back only a moment to whisper reverently, "Gods, love, I've missed you," Before gently kissing the mark he left, soothing it with his tongue.

Emma's toes were curling.

Her hands had been clutching at his hair, encouraging him and his kisses, but now she tugged him back. "We-we have to stop."

Killian narrowed his eyes and she felt both his hand and hook pinch warningly at her hips. "Emma" He growled before diving in and kissing the words right out of her. He pushed her back roughly onto the mattress, her body slightly bouncing until his covered it. His knee pushed between her legs and Emma whimpered at the contact. Then she felt him absolutely everywhere, getting her wish. She was drowning.

"You'll not keep us apart any longer." Killian whispered into her ear before biting down her lobe.

With a husky "Yes" Emma arched her back up and groaned in pleasure when his hips grinded down onto her core, teasing her with a delicious amount of friction. She immediately bucked up in response and then they were rubbing furiously against each other, breathy sighs and moans filling up the room.

"Emma" Killian growled, sliding his length slowly against her aching heat.

It wasn't enough. It wasn't near enough. But this was what Emma meant when she said they needed to stop. She hadn't come here tonight with these intentions-the intentions her mother-for God's sake-had teased her with. She had wanted to apologize, for them to reconcile, and maybe make out a little but not this.

And yet here she was, Captain Hook lying on top of her with his good hand crawling under her shirt and grabbing one of her breasts while they dry humped the shit out of each other.

"Oh Killian," Emma breathed and grabbed his offending wrist, trying desperately to cool herself down.

Of course he blatantly ignored her and latched his mouth right onto the breast she had just pulled him off of, shirt and bra still perfectly in place. And it was erotic as hell.

She whimpered as he sucked down roughly and her mind immediately thought of how good it would feel if there were no clothes to stop him.

No! No, Emma Swan, do not go there! Slow down and stop him quick before you lose all will power to do so!

"Killian please stop."

And just like that he did, his whole body freezing as if a bucket of water had been thrown on it. He raised his head up and Emma near gasped at the utter concern and worry on his face.

"Are you alright love? Did I do something? Have I crossed a line-"

"No, no!" She cupped his cheeks and pressed a quick but reassuring kiss to his lips. "You didn't do anything. I just, well, I kind of wanted us to go slow in this department."

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her. "Does this have anything to do with your break?"

She threw her head back against the mattress and laughed. "No! God no! Forget about the stupid break. This, though, you and me. I wanted us to take our time and um, just…well enjoy each other. Let things happen naturally."

Killian fell down to his side with a heavy breath. "Naturally you say?"

Emma sighed. She was never good at explaining all this relationship-y kind of stuff. "I don't want us to rush," She decided on saying. "This…thing between us. It's still new to me and sometimes a little scary but I want to try it, I really do. I just want to do it right. So I don't want to ruin everything by jumping into bed with you on the first night."

"Well I must point it isn't our first night and you are in my bed already…."

Emma punched him quick in the shoulder causing him to chuckle.

"But," He leant forward and kissed her chastely on the forehead. "I understand what you're saying and I loathe to do anything that could risk ruining us being together. So I will do as you say and go slow. Patience is one of my virtues if you haven't noticed."

"Oh, I've noticed." Emma laughed softly and drew herself closer to him, their legs entwining as Killian ushered her to rest on his chest.

She was snuggling with Captain Hook.

"So…" Killian said after a few minutes, his voice quiet but the worry in it audible. "You and I are…okay? No more of this break nonsense?"

She shook her head against his chest before placing a kiss there. "No, no more break. You've already manipulated my whole family against me so it's not like I could even live peacefully at home anymore."

His fingers began to run gently through her hair. "Manipulated is a strong word. I didn't even have to ask, they were tripping over themselves to assist me."

Emma scoffed. "Oh really? And you changing diapers didn't have anything to do with buttering up Snow?"

"Well I'll admit I had some concerns about your mother, I was under the impression she had been the one who disapproved me most. So extra…encouraging had been needed. Now I believe she approves of us more than even your father does."

"Whatever, just let at least Neal like me more."

Killian laughed. "Alright, love, I'll let you have the wee lad."


End file.
